It's been 3 weeks since I had the mirena taken out. Sunday was an okay day, but Saturday was not. It wasn't as bad as it has been though. I only had a few hours of hot flashes but no feeling as if I can't get enough air. That is a very weird feeling. It isn't that I am not getting air, it is just that my body thinks it isn't getting any.

Sunday was better. Much better. I still felt off but okay. Nothing like the last week, so I would like to say (out loud) that the symptoms are tappering off, but I won't. I don't want to jinx anything.  Until I have had a few months in a row of good days under my belt, I will not get my hopes up. I have done too much investigating (particularly here, here, and here) to know that the symptoms can come back at any time and tear you down.  I am just happy that I am not going through what some of these other women are going through. geez. I think that the product should be banned, but that is my feeling. If you were looking to buy a car and it had a over 40,000 negative reviews, would you buy it?

Anyway, my hope for this week is a full week of feeling good. Last week it was 2-3 days and the week before was 1 day. I see a progression and I would like for it to continue. I just push forward, even if I am feeling bad because I refuse to let it keep me house bound (which is where I want to be when I have this not really here feeling in my body). I continue to go to the gym (which always makes me feel better), I continue to make plans, and I continue to do what I want. That is how it has to be. Besides, 12 kilos down has to make me feel better. Only 47 more to go...

Well, it has been 5 full days since I had that horrible Mirena removed. I can't believe I let it go a month before deciding to take it out.

I can say that I do feel better, about 60-70% of the time.  When I say better, I mean that I am no longer feeling horrible. I am still suffering, but I believe the symptoms are lessening. When I would get the anxiety attacks (which are different from the panic attacks I would get), they were accompanied by a dramatic increase in my blood pressure which I could feel in my whole body and the shakes which would last for a good hour to an hour and half. Now I am having the anxiety attacks, but not the shakes or the dramatic rise in blood pressure. I think it might be going up some, but not to the level it was. I feel like I am going to get them, but I don't so I am scoring this in the win pile...for now. I am also a tad weepy, which is new for me.

I have started taking a B supplement, magnesium, and vitamin D. The B supplement, according so a lot of the "Mirena is evil" sites, is supposed to increase my energy, help stabilize my mood, and help with the jitters (or anxiety).The magnesium is supposed to help relax me so I can sleep. They say it might take a few days to kick in. I take in in the morning to help during the day and at night, usually a few hours before I hop into bed (or the couch depending on the level of anxiety I am feeling).  The vitamin D is because I am 40.

Oh yeah, and I am showing this picture to my doctor when I see her. The picture on the left is the day after insertion (when I was at the ER) and the one on the right is this morning (I tried to duplicate the same facial expression).

Aside from the fact that I have lost 4 kilos since the picture on the left was taken (11 in all tyvm), look how puffy I was. No way is that normal. I am also taking a stack of responses from women about the mirena and the side effects they are having, then I am telling her I want my hormone levels checked and monitored until they are level. And if she won't do that, I will find someone who will. I am taking no prisoners!

Most importantly, I will not let this have any kind of effect on my life dammit! I am bound and determined to live a normal life.

I hate myself for getting that damn Mirena birth control. Day 2 after extraction and I am a weepy mess.  I was crying in the middle of conversations. I cried during lecture. *sigh*

Evening of day 2 was horrible. Again, full body shakes and general feeling of death creeping up behind me.  I was up all night. 5am I finally went to sleep.

I did some research during my insomnnia and it seems that this will go on until I have a regular cycle and it might only lessen after I do. In other words, it might never go away. I can not live like this.  So I dug some more on sites about the Mirena from users, past and present. It seems that I might have silicone poisoning, which they will not check for unless you have a really good reason for them to do so, like allergic reaction to breast implants. But I did get some ideas on supplements to take to help with the transition of producing my own estrogen again. Of course one of them is prescribed by a naturopathic doctor and I haven't a clue how to find one of those here. So I am going to go out and get the other vitamins today and hopefully they will work. *fingers crossed* *holding thumbs*

I can honestly say that this was the stupidest thing I have ever done and I hate myself for putting my body through this. If anything, this has taught me a lesson: trust my instincts. I told the doctor I didn't want to put a foreign object in my body. I should have stuck to my guns. Now I have to figure out what to say to her when I go for my appointment, and how to say it nicely.

For the first part of this story go here and here.

Yesterday was a month, to the day, that I had the Mirena put in. Over time my symptoms got worse. Yesterday was the final straw. Over the month I have slept maybe 4 nights without any problems. Other nights were horrible. I would get very hot, start this uncontrollable shaking from within. I knew that the doctors would probably think I was insane and I was just thinking that it was probably me over-thinking things causing me to have a panic attack. Other problems I faced  was this feeling that I just not there. I always felt as if I was watching life from a distance. I haven't been able to concentrate. I was depressed. I had to make myself go outside. No sex drive AT ALL. And then there was the brown yucky stuff that was being expelled--constantly. That was lovely. *ahem* Yesterday, after I woke up with the shakes at 6am, I called to make an appointment to have the damn torture device removed. The nurse on the phone told me that the symptoms I was having could not be caused by the Mirena because these were not the normal ones. Yeah. I told her that since this is the only change in my life over the last month that is has to be the birth control and that I wanted it taken out...now. I would have to wait a week. *sigh* *groan*

I went about my day as usual, but last night was it. I hadn't eaten because everything made me nauseous. I couldn't get enough water. I was shaking. I was hot on the inside. The air hurt my skin. Smells were making me sick. I put on my clothes and TBS and I headed back to the ER. We weren't there very long because when I explained the problem, and re-explained it, and explained it again to convince them that I was not crazy, they sent me to the Women's Emergency Clinic (didn't know we had one of those). After walking around for a while, we finally found it. They were so nice. They didn't look at me like I was insane. In fact, they understood and the doctor agreed that it sounded like I was having a very bad reaction to the synthetic hormone levonorgestrel. Good to know. She was very understanding, confirmed that it needed to be removed, and she did just that. It took longer for me to take my pants off than it did for her to remove it. Within minutes I felt better--probably the placebo effect but still, WONDERFUL.

Today I went to have my blood pressure checked and it is almost back to normal. This "hormone" was probably the cause of the 185/110 blood pressure I was experiencing. We will find out when I go back on the 18th for the second of three follow-up visits for my blood pressure.

So, for me, this form of birth control did not work out. The "treatment" was worse than the problem. I will deal with 7 days a month of hell. I will deal with the mood swings and cramping so bad that I feel like someone has my uterus in a vice.  I will deal with the overpriced crap I have to buy because I am a woman. I will deal with the issue of non-latex condoms that are more expensive. All that is a walk in the park compared to the rollercoaster I was just on. That amusement park should be condemned.

Well, I think I might have to have this thing taken out. I can't handle these highs and lows of my blood pressure. It is freaking me out. *groan* I am going to call them tomorrow and make an appointment. This is ridiculous.